A recent life event has inspired me to write. An experience filled with disappointments, negative energy and bad decisions. At the time, I would have never thought to write about it because of how awful it made me feel, but as I sit here and reflect, I realize that my words may be able to help others through a difficult time.
As I stepped back into reality, I was upset, angry, confused and genuinely embarrassed. I was in a rut – but not for long. Resilience is how well a person can adapt to the events in their lives. Over the years, I have actively practiced how to have good resilience which essentially is the ability to bounce back more quickly and with less stress. So here’s how I bounce back and thrive:
Lean on your loved ones. Find comfort in the ones who love you and cherish your relationship. Focus on people who care about you and your well-being and who support you. Value whoever values you. Spend time with them, talk to them about how you’re feeling, and let them listen. They are your support system.
Do something to break the pattern of nasty self-talk and ruminating. After an unpleasant event, we tend to put the blame on ourselves. We think negatively about ourselves and consistently think about what we could have done differently (well I mean, I do). Keep yourself busy. Watch a movie, laugh, call a friend or go to the gym. It’s hard to steer clear of negative thoughts, but give yourself credit for that hour or two that you were able to not think about that shitty thing that happened to you.
Practice mindfulness daily. Journal or meditate. Focus on the present moment, where you are right now – allow yourself to feel – release those negative emotions, but always remember and be grateful for the beautiful life God has given you.
Forgive yourself and forgive other people. Even when you didn’t get the closure you needed or an apology, forgive. This may seem silly to other people because everyone deals with things differently, but the act of forgiveness has changed the way I look at shitty things that have happened to me. Forgiveness helps me move on with my life.
You choose how to react to what has happened. React positively. Choose kindness, choose love, choose happiness. Don’t sit around and sulk. Get back into a routine that makes you feel alive and energized. For me, it was getting a good night’s sleep, heading to the gym, eating healthy meals and making time for self-care.
Accept, learn and MOVE ON from it. Remove yourself from the situation – physically, mentally, and spiritually. Just disconnect from it. Don’t try to control what is out of your control. Being angry, sad, or worrying won’t change the situation. Shitty things happen to good people all the time. Don’t let it be a big deal. Better things are coming for you. Things work themselves out and everything happens for a reason. In a year or so, I’ll probably still think negatively about the situation (hahahaha), but I’ll most likely be able to laugh about it because I’m human and I make mistakes – even really big ones.
Help someone else in need. Be the best you can be in your professional life. This is huge for me. I’m in a field of work that relies heavily on helping others so I pour my energy into my meaningful career.
Read and listen to motivational, inspirational and encouraging words. I’ve always been a huge fan of reading, but for those who aren’t, there are podcasts and ebooks available everywhere. Reading and listening to another person’s words can be a form of healing for some. Hearing about someone who has been through a difficult time and has dealt with it is reassuring to me that I’ll get through it too.
Some of my favourite podcast channels:
- The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast
- The Health Code
- Wellness Force Radio
Some of my favourite books:
- A Tribe Called Bliss by Lori Harder
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
- The Ripple Effect by Greg Wells
- Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop
Take each bad experience as a lesson learned. Take it as the universe telling you that it wasn’t for you. It wasn’t meant for you and you probably dodged a bullet. A job opportunity lost, a relationship ending, failure, rejection – take it and use it to better yourself. Bounce back fast and make others wonder how the heck you did it. Take your L and make BIG moves.
Bliss & blessings,